Art – De-Stress

I’m an artist.  I grew up drawing, painting and taking every single art class I could.  We even had a bus pull up to my elementary school that taught wood crafts and other fun things.

This is my very first oil painting from when I was in the 3^rd grade.  California Poppies.

I just love to create.  In fact, I feel it is a big part of my gifting from God.  After working as a graphic artist, I decided to go back to school for art.  My biggest problem was that I loved ALL types of art and it was really hard to pick what to study!  God has given me different types of art to do at different times in my life.  Currently, because I have a toddler and it’s really difficult to get paint out, or spend time in a ceramic’s studio, I am focusing on photography.

My husband gave me my first DSLR camera for Christmas when our 3^rd son was just a few months old.  It is one of the best gifts he has ever given me.  I LOVE it.  (Rings & a Kindle Fire are also up pretty high on the list)  I didn’t know then how much it would help me to have photography in my life, especially having fibromyalgia.  I had taken a few film photography classes in school, and I had a background in digital art, so I was comfortable making the switch to digital photography.  The first year I had the camera I spent lots of time learning, reading and practicing, but THEN I found an awesome web site.

www.365project.org

It is a place where photographers take and post a photo a day for a year.  I was in awe of the great photography on the site and it was something I wanted to learn how to do better, so I signed up!  It’s free.  January 1, 2011 I posted my first photo.  And I’m still posting!  I have had such a blast doing this project.  I take pictures of my kids, God’s creation around me and experiment with things I’ve never tried (like water drops and fizzy fruit!)  I am so grateful for the inspiration and encouragement the other photographers have given me.  The best part is, anyone can do this!  There are lots of people on the site that use regular ‘point and shoot’ cameras or smart phones.  It’s a great way to document your life, your pain, your joy, be creative every day, and help reduce stress from your life.

Not only do I post photos daily, but I have started selling my work.  I joined a local art group where I was able to put some of my photographs in local businesses for sale, I also set up a booth in my towns Art Walk once a month.  And I started an Etsy shop to sell online.

Creative Wave Studios

If you are a creative person, you NEED to find a way to use your creativity.  Find a hobby that you just love and make time for it!  If you love to write, journal, if you love to draw, doodle!  If you love to garden, or bake, do it!  I know what you are thinking, “this is just a waste of precious energy,” well no!  When you do something that you enjoy, something that stimulates your ‘right brain’, you will feel more energized and even be able to relax and think clearer.

Is there something that you used to do that brought you joy?  Or is there something that you have always wanted to try?  Why not start this week!  I pray it will make a difference in your stress and overall joy like it has for me.

Yin Inspired Yoga – Deep Stretching for Connective Tissue

I have heard about how great Yoga is for people with fibromyalgia.  Good muscle stretching sounds like a great idea.  I had done some Yoga before I had fibro, taken a few classes from my best friend who is a wonderful Christian Yoga instructor, and I did the P90X program for a summer that included a tough Yoga workout, but I was far from being a yogi.

A couple months after I found out I had fibro, I was ready to do something to try and feel better.  So I went to a Yoga class (a class geared towards more advanced students and instructors!  OOOPS!).  I hadn’t exercised AT ALL since I quit running four months earlier.  There was my first mistake.  My second mistake was thinking I could still push myself like I could before fibromyalgia.  I did the whole 1 hour class.  Sure it was hard, but I didn’t feel too much pain, so I kept going.  My muscles were tight and I started to feel a little off, fuzzy head, but I brushed away the thoughts and went to lunch.  About an hour later I was driving home and started to sob.  I don’t know where the emotion came from but it felt awful and all consuming.  I just cried and cried.  Made it home and fell onto the couch in horrible pain.  I was upset because of what I had done to myself and I grieved for the person I was before.  I knew then that my life really was going to be very different.  I had to rest for the next few days as my muscles recovered, from what felt like a marathon I wasn't prepared to run, and thought I would never do Yoga again.   But I did try again, I took it very slow and modified every move to what I could do.  This is when having a Yoga instructor for a best friend comes in handy.  She recommends Gentle Yoga, Beginning or Aerial Yoga or Restorative Yoga is good for aching bodies.

Ok, let’s get to it.  Yin inspired Yoga.  I ran across this online somewhere and asked my BFF about it.  She was excited to tell me that a variation of this type of Yoga would be great for people with fibromyalgia!  Why?  Well, here is the definition according to Three Trees Yoga:

“Yin is a simple, quiet practice that explores the connective tissue and joints of the body. The major differences between a yin and a traditional yoga practice are that yin postures are passive and done with the muscles relaxed. The poses are held on the floor, for a length of time. This is because connective tissue does not stretch like muscle and does not respond well to brief stresses. The focus of Yin Yoga, then, is to keep the joints and connective tissues of the body mobile. The regular practice of Yin yoga frees areas of chronic tightness primarily in the hips, legs, and lower back.”

Well that sounded fantastic!  Especially because fibromyalgia pain is thought to be largely in the connective tissue.  Yin is a specific set of 25 poses or “asanas” that must be done in order.  You hold each pose 3-5 minutes (10 minutes for some!) so it is a long intense practice and should be done just once a week.  I was no where near ready for that, so my wonderful friend came over one day and taught me 9 poses.  We started with just 2 minutes each and I’ve been adding time to each pose ever since.  Here is what she taught me, click on each asana for more instructions and information from www.yinyoga.com.

Remember, they must be done IN ORDER.

1.       Melting Heart – 3-5 min

2.       Butterfly – 3-5 min

3.       Camel – 1-2min

4.       Cat Pulling It’s Tail – 3-5 min each side

5.       Caterpillar – 3-5 min

6.       Dangling – 2min

7.       Deer – 3-5 min each side

8.       Dragons – 3-5 min each side

9.       Straddle – 3-10 min

I do have difficulty with some of these.  I have tender points on my outer thighs and sitting on them for even a short amount of time is painful.   Not only that, I am also am very inflexible (scoliosis and short hamstrings) so I will never be able to fully do the poses.  I just relax and do what I can.  My friend showed me how to use blankets and bolsters for support.  Some of the poses work your back, so if you find it getting stiff like I did, my friend suggested adding
Child’s Pose in between as needed.

Always check with your Dr. before beginning any exercise routine.  It is very beneficial to have someone show you how to do each pose correctly.  Check out classes in your area!


***Thanks to Christy Parker for all of her wisdom, support and patience!  Christy is not only a Certified Yoga Instructor and Certified Christian Yoga Instructor, but an Instructor in Krav Maga AND has a wonderful blog about natural skin care, home improvement DIY's and more!  Check her out at journeytopowerhousediydarling.blogspot.com

Rest – Required

Last night I took a nice hot bath, soothed my aching muscles with the heat after a busy weekend getting ready for the first day of school.  It’s something I don’t do very often.
(I forget why?)  I threw in some lovely aroma therapy oils, kept the room dark and just relaxed.  That is until a happy little 2 year old skipped into my room and decided to hop in with me (oh yeah, that’s why).  Not so relaxing when you end up with grapes floating around in the water and get splashed in the face.  I wouldn’t have changed a thing though, I know these moments will soon be memories.

 

I must admit, I have always had to take extra rest, even before I developed fibro.  I’m an introvert and it always has made me very tired to go out and do anything, including being with other people (yes even people I love).  I need to have some peace and quiet and alone time to feel restored.  Having this syndrome has made me much more aware of this and from what I hear from others, it is necessary for us to recuperate after even simple everyday activities like grocery shopping or going to a lunch meeting.  Problems arise when we don’t take this time to rest.  Pain, more fatigue and brain fog are quick to creep up on us when we push too far.  The longer the activity, or more energy exerted, the more rest we need.

There are different types of rest described for us in the Scriptures.

Sabbath rest

Future rest in God

Rest/peace for the soul

We as humans need them all!  But I’d like to focus on a few verses that speak about rest/peace for our souls.  These are the verses we can cling to when we know we need rest and can be encouraged that God will provide it for us!

Jesus speaks right to us in Matthew, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”  Matthew 11:28-29.

He promises rest and peace from anxiety, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7.

Sometimes we don’t even know we need rest and God provides opportunities for us.  (Oh how He loves us!)  “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.” 

Psalm 23:1-3.

I love love love Psalm 23 and encourage you to read and study the entire Psalm and find your rest in God today!

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.”

Psalm 62:5

Photo Friday!

I decided to share some of my photography with you all each Friday, and encourage you with God's beautiful Creation and His Word.  Something you can meditate on over the weekend.  You are welcome to download and use this photo with my watermark.  Share it on Facebook, Pinterest, or use it as a screensaver. (photos are not to be sold, or used for advertising, please link back to my shop when using photos online)  If you would like to purchase a print without the watermark, visit my shop on Etsy.  Discount prices for Friday Photos!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/105425688/2-corinthians-129-special-sale

Have a wonderful weekend!

Running – It’s What I Love

I quit running back in September 2011 because of the horrible pain I was experiencing at the time.  This was before I went to see my Dr. and learned I have fibromyalgia.  I was never a great runner, but I loved it.  I had only started a few years before and worked my way up to running a few 5K races with an ultimate goal of doing a ½ marathon someday.  The Tinkerbell ½ Marathon at Disneyland to be exact.  A lot of my pain in the beginning was joint pain, in my feet, knees and hips.  I was stiff in the mornings and so very sore in the evenings I could barely walk.  When I did see my Dr. in November, he confirmed that I should not be running.  Walking instead would be best.  But when I went to see a Rheumatologist for a 2^nd opinion she suggested that I continue to do what I loved, just start slow, build up very slow, pace myself, and listen to my body so I don’t overdo it.  It turned out a lot of my foot/leg pain was Plantar Fasciitis, and I was able to get that under control by learning some stretches and wearing good supportive shoes all the time (very hard for this flip-flop or barefoot girl!  Thanks to my sister-in-law who also deals with this, I was able to find some pretty cute supportive flip-flops by Orthaheel) It took me a few months to try running again.  I wanted to focus on healing my body a bit.

When I first began running I followed the Couch 2 5K Running Plan from coolrunning.  It is a very mild approach of walking/running and building up slowly to avoid injury over 9 weeks.  I loved the program, so I figured I would try it again.  It turned out that trying to run 3 days a week was too much, so I dropped it down to 2.  I have learned a lot about energy management, and for me, this is what I can handle.  I also believe the supplements I have been taking have helped with my energy and opened up more of my day to be able to exercise.  I have to run on days when I don’t have anything else going on, to give myself plenty of time to rest and recover.  Sometimes I have overdone it and suffered for a couple of days after with pain and fatigue.

This was one thing that was worth it to me to try and get back from my life before fibro.  I missed the quiet prayer time with just me and God (and usually my little one ridding in the stroller).  Getting out in nature (well, suburban nature) and feeling the sun on my skin.  It’s always been a great stress reliever for me, and given me a goal to work towards.  So once again I have set that goal of running the Tinkerbell ½ marathon someday.  Currently I am on week 7 of the C25K program although I have been running for 10 weeks now.  I feel great over all.  It has helped with energy, motivation, stress relief and more!

I want to point out that I am NOT telling you to go out and run.  This may not be right for you.  I also understand that I may not be able to do this forever.  You should seek advice from your Dr. about what type of exercise is best for you.  Start slow and build up slowly.  The normal recommendations for people with fibro are
low impact; walking, yoga and aqua therapy.  Even with those
you must build up slowly.

It takes time! 

What do you do for exercise?

Priorities - Where Does Fibromyalgia Fit?

It sure takes a lot of time and effort to revamp your life.  Lots of reading, studying, testing and practicing.  I feel sometimes like this is a new job.  I guess it is.  I have spent hours and hours reading, and talking with others who are living with fibromyalgia, trying to find what God leads me to put into practice in my own life as steps towards healing.  This can quickly take over your whole life,  putting God and family responsibilities on the back-burner!  I KNOW that is not what God wants for me, so where does getting healthy fit into my priorities?

Here is an illustration that shows the Circles of Priority for a Christian Adult according to
Bearing Fruit in God's Family by NavPress:

After talking about this with my husband we came up with the idea that for me, fibro should fall between “Work” (I should point out that "Work" does not necessarily mean a paying job) and “Other."  We’ll call it “Self/Health,” not “selfishness,”  but “Self/Health.”  This is the place to work on getting healthy.  My list for “Self/Health” would include; 

-reading/research on my illness

-healthy eating

-supplements

-exercise (which for me includes lots of prayer time & scripture meditation)

-Dr. appointments

-resting (which could lead back to God)

-blogging (which could also be helping others)

Maybe you would add massage, chiropractor or acupuncture.  Whatever you do that surrounds your illness and healing.  All of these are important and have a place on our priority list.   Here is my new visual which you can grab, print & customize with your own priorities:

 

Certainly there are times in people’s lives where health needs to be moved up on the list.  If you are hospitalized, or going through something like Cancer, your priorities may look different for a season.  When your illness has you so down (physically or emotionally) that you can no longer do the things on your priority list, that is a problem that needs to be addressed.  You should seek help to get things under control.

As I spoke about in a previous post, Job - Help for the Hurting, God allows things to happen in our lives for the purpose of bringing us closer to Him.  Don’t let anything get in the way of that relationship!

My point is this.  Let’s not let fibromyalgia (or whatever illness you have) take over our lives to the point where we are ineffective Christians.

Let’s put it in its place.

New Habit – Supplements

I hate pills.  Always have.  I’m not one to take them unless it’s absolutely necessary.  Just the idea usually turns my weak stomach.  Let’s face it though; we are not getting the nutrients we need from our food.  People with fibromyalgia are often deficient in certain vitamins and minerals, and may need some help getting our bodies back to the right levels.  It IS necessary.  My Dr. recommended a few for me, and like I mentioned in a previous post, Figuring out Fibromyalgia, one of the things suggested was to take a few supplements.  So I decided to give it a try and see if it made any difference for me.

I began to do a little research on the supplements I should be taking and quickly became overwhelmed.  There are so many to choose from, so many different brands, dosages, different kind of pills, powders & drinks.  I had to walk away from the computer in frustration many times.  I had no idea what the best way to take each one was, the best time of day.  BLAH.  Then one day I was out shopping at Costco & just decided to go get what I needed there, give it a try and then change later if I needed to.  I stood there in the isle with a very unhappy 2 year old in the cart (he hates shopping) and read through the supplement chapter of Figuring out Fibromyalgia on my Kindle.

1. Triple Omega

     2. Super B Complex 

        3. Vitamin D3

 

Got it!  Now I was committed.  Those Costco size supplements are no joke.  It was around $50 for all 3.  I'm getting close to running out of the Triple Omega now, but the other 2, I still have plenty!  And it's been months since I bought them.  Little tip, keep them in your fridge!  (They keep longer & no fish smell from the omega)

I devoted myself to taking them every day.  And for the most part I have!  I forget some mornings, and there was a month that I stopped as a little test to see if they really were helping, and about a week when I was pretty sick.  Other than that, I have been faithful since January 2012.

Another thing I wanted to try was herbs.  My sister is studying to be an herbalist.  She took some time and knowing what was going on with me, made up a few different things to help.

For me, just doing this small thing with just these few supplements & herbs has made a HUGE difference in my life.  It took about 2 weeks to really kick in.  Taking the Omega Blend has helped tremendously with my brain fog.  I would say I have about an 80% improvement.  The B complex has given me a little bit of my life back.  Instead of heading downhill at around 4pm every day, I’m usually just fine until bed time.  Having more energy is such a blessing.  I would rate it at about 50% improvement (and getting better).  I don’t feel any difference with or without the Vitamin D3, but from what I’ve read, this is worth taking.  And it’s just a little easy pill.  The herbs that I take have helped me with a few other health issues, not necessarily related to fibro.  The more I read & learn, there are probably some more supplements that would be helpful for me.  I have just started taking MagnesiumGlycinate.  I’ll let you know how it goes!

I urge you to talk with your Dr., get some testing done to see if there are deficiencies, and do a little reading for yourself.  It is worth it!  I am VERY pleased with my experience & will continue to take my pills every day.  Hey, it forces me to eat a little breakfast every morning so I can stomach taking the pills.  There’s another good habit.

Job - Help for the Hurting

“so I have been allotted months of futility,

    and nights of misery have been assigned to me.

When I lie down I think, ‘How long before I get up?’

    The night drags on, and I toss and turn until dawn.”  Job 7:3-4

“And now my life ebbs away;

    days of suffering grip me.

Night pierces my bones;

    my gnawing pains never rest.”  Job 30:16-17

Sound familiar?  Researching the history of fibromyalgia you will often find references to Job possibly being the first recorded sufferer.  I hadn’t heard anything about this before I began investigating this syndrome, and I have studied the book of Job a few times.

Most commentators agree that Job is the oldest book in the Bible, possibly written soon after the flood of Noah, many years before Moses penned the Torah (first 5 books of the Bible).  Job was a righteous and wealthy man.  Satan approached God with a challenge, that when all good things were taken away from him, Job would blame God and turn from Him.  Satan is given approval to prove his theory and all of Job’s wealth is taken away, his ten adult children are killed and he is afflicted with illness.  Why does God allow us to suffer?  Three of Job’s friends show up to try and make sense of what was happening to this Godly man.  Job never wavers in his faith and worship of God.  Then, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe speaks to Job about who He is.  A Living, Loving, Personal God, active in all facets of His creation.  Job is found to have passed this test and God blesses him, giving him twice as much as he had before.  More wealth, more children, and although the text doesn’t mention his health, the fact that people once again were not afraid to be around him, and the fact that he lived happily for 140 years after these events, leads me to believe he was healed.

As I read more of Job’s own description of his afflictions and looked back to the beginning of the story,   “So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head.”  Job 2:7, I can’t help but doubt that fibromyalgia is what was ailing him.  In my opinion whatever it was, was horrible and included open sores (boils) that would explain his physical torture.  However, even if Job didn’t suffer from fibromyalgia, those of us that live with pain can turn to this book for comfort, answers and hope.

“There is great news to those who have lost possessions, for those who have lost position and for those who have lost health.  God is near, God is in Love with you and God is in control.  It is a huge challenge, but the truth is that the God who directs each and every lightning bolt is in control of the situation.  Nothing that has happened in a life, as tragic as it is, is a surprise to God, nor was it beyond His capability to stop it.  The good news is that God is so capable that He can not only manage, but also direct the life of each individual in such a way that measured in the eternal scheme of things, a perfect plan unfolds that is best for the person and brings glory to God.  The life of the hurting is in the powerful and loving hand of the Creator and has His laser focus and undivided attention.” (193-194) God’s Science Quiz, Dr. Gary Sutliff.

I invite you to study The Book of Job for yourself and pray that you find comfort in it as I have.

For further study into the science in Job, you can pick up my Dad’s book on the subject!

God's Science Quiz.  

And watch this video by Chuck Missler - 
God's Science Quiz to Job.

Stormy days – Am I a Human Barometer?

Something I have read about, and heard from others, is that weather really affects their fibromyalgia.  Up until recently I’ve been pretty confused about my symptoms and what is going on with me, but it seemed like the weather really didn’t bother me much.  I live in AZ where it is very dry most of the year.  But every summer, mid-July, we get hit with monsoons.  The humidity literally goes from 0 – 60 in a matter of days.  It’s lovely to have summer storms in the desert.  Pouring rain, lighting shows and the most beautiful sunsets you’ve ever seen!

 I’ve been feeling pretty good lately.  Tired, yes, but not in all that much pain and my brain has been working pretty well.  :) This morning though, I woke up with a fuzzy head and was sore from head to toe.  I tried to help my husband make some breakfast, but kept forgetting what I was doing, why I had opened the fridge, stuff like that.  I just did not feel right.  Went about the day and we even took the kids to the movies.  While we were there the sky opened up and it poured like it hasn’t all summer!  We’ve had a few good storms, but this one was the biggest.  Rain, wind, hail, thunder, lighting!  We were ducking in and out of stores at our outdoor mall while this was going on.  My hero of a husband braved the storm and went to get our big suburban “Bruce” as close to us as possible.  We all got soaked despite his efforts.
It was quite an adventure.

Once we got home and I sat down to rest (more like crash) I realized that my body had been trying to tell me this morning that it would storm today.  I think I am more in tune to my own body and symptoms now that I have been paying attention to and trying to improve them.  Here is an article from fibromyalgia-symptoms.org on Weather and Fibromyalgia, that explains why the weather effects us!

I really am a human barometer!

Next time, I will listen.

Symptoms - What's My Problem?

One of the first things I did when my Dr. suggested that I had fibromyalgia was to read.  (Really we all need to stay away from webmd don’t we, but it’s where I started.)  Other than a few commercials, and being familiar with a couple of people that lived with it, I didn’t know much.   From what I knew at the time, it didn’t sound like what I had.  Muscle pain was what kept coming up, and I didn’t THINK I had much muscle pain.  Aches and pains sure, but not the excruciating muscle pain that I had heard about.  The pain that was bothering me the most was joint pain in my legs, feet, knees and hips.  I found a list of symptoms and I couldn’t believe how much fit me!  Things I hadn’t even thought about as a problem, or things that didn’t seem to fit together, became clearer. 

From webmd:

Common symptoms of fibromyalgia -- also known as fibromyalgia syndrome or FMS -- may include:

Pain - yup

Anxiety - oh yes

Concentration and memory problems -- known as "fibro fog" – the worst!

Depression - yes

Fatigue – oh so much

Headaches  - sometimes

Irritable bowel syndrome - maybe

Morning stiffness – oh yes!

Painful menstrual cramps – getting worse by the month

Sleep problems - yes

Numbness, and tingling in hands, arms, feet, and legs - yes

Tender points – ouch!

Urinary symptoms, such as pain or frequency – no

After reading that I was sure the Dr. was right.  THIS is what my problem was.  There are more extensive lists out there which only confirmed for me what was going on.

Here is a long list at healingwell.com.

Take this Quiz to help you determine if this syndrome could fit you.

Just seeing lists like this helped me.   I wasn’t crazy, this was actually happening to me!  Then came the next step.  What do I do about it?

Introduction - Living in a Fog

We all have difficult things that we face in our lives.  Broken relationships, illness, death, poverty.  I have not had to walk a very hard path most of my life, but I have had struggles.  I have faced tough times and been brought through a few fires.  I have relied on my God to bring me through these things.  His grace is unmatched.  I would love to share my story with you and give a voice to what daily life is like living with fibromyalgia and fighting it!

My journey with fibromyalgia began in November of 2011.  After living with severe pain in my legs & feet for over a year, getting worse as time went on, my husband convinced me to see a Dr. and figure out what could be wrong.  I was tired all the time and felt like I was living in a fog.  Whatever was going on was really interfering with my life & my ability to be a parent & keeper of my home.

At the time, I was 33 and stay at home mom of a 13, 10 and 2 year old.  Every day I would wake up and feel like I’d been hit by a truck.  Everything hurt.  I felt swollen and achy from my feet to my fingertips, up to my neck, jaw and top it off with a headache some days.  My joints were the worst.  I could tell what kind of day it was going to be by how much it hurt to walk down the stairs.  On the bad days I felt like my bones would snap as I took one step at a time gripping the railing for dear life.  I would get kids off to school and then sit on the couch and try to wake up for around 2 hours, or go back to bed for a few hours depending on how late my 2 year old would sleep.  Once I actually felt awake around lunch time, I could usually get ONE thing done during the day.  One errand, clean One area of the house, One playdate.  It wasn’t good if I tried to do more.  I often pushed myself though.  Just get one more thing done, or run in the store really quick.  That always led straight to a crash.  I was always forgetting meetings, or phone calls to make, appointments, or some other household tasks, or cancelling plans because I just couldn’t leave the house.  I tried to play and engage with my 2 year old, but more often than not, I couldn’t do much.  I couldn’t even take him to the park.   Just the thought of that made me tired.

For me, when I say I feel “tired” that usually means that my entire body is SCREAMING at me to “Stop Stop Stop!!!  Sit down!  Rest!  You can’t go on!”  It’s an all-consuming feeling of being overwhelmed and exhausted.  My mind would fog over & I was done.  Out.

I don’t know how I made it through dinner time most days.  Usually around 4pm I would start to head downhill.  Just in time for the older kids to come home and need help with homework (that I couldn’t do because I couldn’t even think) or be driven to some activity. The pain in my legs was more than I could bear by that time of day.  My husband would come home from work and watch me as I literally cried just standing up & walking some nights.  Forget cleaning up dinner.  I would park myself on the couch after eating and there I would stay until bed time where I would become so stiff and sore it hurt to move.  I was exhausted, yet I would dread going to sleep because I knew how bad I was going to feel when I woke up.

This is how I lived for a year.  Feeling like a failure at life.  Ineffective for ministry.  Wondering if this was just “getting older.”   I was ready for answers.  I was ready to have my life back.  I had hope.  I know that God can heal.  I myself have experienced a miracle in emotional healing.  I just didn’t know how long my journey with this would be.  Would you like to walk out of the fog with me?